..... DUT......

FREAKIN DEPRESSED

Good reflection

check out

http://www.wau.org/meditations/meditations.asp?month=9&day=19&year=2005

my fav part:

This story of Cyrus’ edict and the Jews’ response tells us that we must never give up hope—even if years pass and our prayers seem unanswered. By staying close to Jesus in prayer, we can keep cynicism and doubt at bay and become instead like those Jews who hoped against all hope and lived to see their dreams fulfilled. God will fulfill his promises, even if he uses unlikely people, unlikely events, or unlikely timing to do so.

“Father, I cannot understand your ways. Still, I marvel at your wisdom and love. Help me to trust in you when my prayers seem unanswered. Guard me from despair and open my eyes to see you at work all around me, surrounding me with your love.”

The Tailor and her Snide comments

Ok ok, I went to tailor. I usually just buy my stuff from the mass production stuff you know? Like G2000, etc. Well Topshop and all that is beyong my budget lah.
Anyways, since I have gained quite abit of weight after i actually stopped my gym about 1.5 years ago.

Aiyah this tailor huh, no tact one... See I went with my mom and sis. My mom is very petite type, and my sister she is slightly shorter than me.

The tailor hasn't seen me in awhile and she said.. WAAAA fat already. Esp you, your sister not so bad. Your face esp. DAMNATION!!!

ANyways, after she measureed she said.. oh not too bad lah.. only by 1/2 inch at certain area and 1 inch gain on certain area. But your face looks fat lah.. ENOUGH Aleady :P

Anyways, she told me, you got to diet next time before you come. Each time you come you gain... 1/2 in lah and if keep increasing, you will have problem. :((

She made me feel feakin depressed.

Just Finished Reading

Ok On Friday, I borrowed a book and its called Where the rainbow ends by Cecelia Ahern.

Guess what I finished it by 11.30pm Sat nite.. hahaha.... Well, i didn't sit at home the whole day, I went out to the tailor.... for a couple of hours.

I also just found out that Cecelia Ahern is the Irish Prime Minister's Daughter.. wow wowow. This is her second book. The first one was Called PS I LOVE YOU. It was quite good too.

Ok currently reading. Bindis and Brides by Nisha Minhas. Started this morn, and currently at page 95.

Received this in my email box today

This is the whole email...............

Hope the message would encourage all of us that God is watching and holding
us at all times.

Malachi 3:3 says: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."


This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this
statement meant about the character and nature of God. One of the women
offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the
group at their next Bible Study.

That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch
him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest
beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver.

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and
let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold
the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn
away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot then she thought
again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of
silver."

She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front
of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined.

The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver,
but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the
fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be
destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do
you know when the silver is fully refined?" He smiled at her and answered,
"Oh, that's easy - when I see my image in it."

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has His
eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you.

Pass this on to everyone you know. Right now, this very moment, someone
needs to know that God is watching over them. And, whatever they're going
through, they'll be a better person in the end.

"Life is a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, But you can only spend
it once."

10 things You don't know about MG :P

Obviously, there are more than 10 things you don't know about me.

Lets start with 10 okay?

1)MG plays the piano. Has completed Grade 8 at the age of 16. (obviously hasnt touch the piano for eons :P)

2)MG also plays the organ.

3)MG took ballet lessons until she was 12 years old

4) MG was active in sports in school. MG played netball, badminton and was a sprinter running 100 and 4X 100 and 200M.

5) MG dislike the dark. Had a very haunting experience in her bedroom during her secondary days.

6) MG has fulfilled her dream of going white river rafting and white river kayaking but too bad its here in MY

7) MG wore braces previously

8) MG inherited the 2 dimples from her paternal grandmother :P But now seems to disappear even now... getting chubby eh..

9) MG comes from a family of 4 children. MG being the 3rd and the least pampered. The forgotten one. Ain't the elder, ain't the first boy, ain't the last child either.. :(

10)MG would like to go to Italy one day. Too visit the Vatican city.

aiyah got more ah.. but a promise is a promise.. 10 means 10 heeee.

Coincidence or Providence

Couple of things has happened and makes one wonder if its coincidence or providence.
Maybe you can ponder of this and see what you think!?

of course if you're a person of strong faith, you would probably skewed towards Providence.

Scenario 1
----------
sis-in-law funeral, me at church 9am to go read up on the reading for the funeral mass prior to the funeral mass. At the church hall at the same time, my friend Joanna registered her marriage to Thomas. I didn't know that. When I was leaving the church , the guy who drove me to church asked me , do you know that gal in a wedding dress waving at you? I of course in my state of daze didn't realize it. Couple of weeks later saw Joanna, she asked, was I at church on this day? I said yes, it was my sis-in-law funeral.

Scenario 2
-----------
Sister-in-law's name is Sarah.
2 sundays ago, at mass, saw joanna with thomas and baby.
After mass, approach them, I asked Joanna, whats the baby's name. Joanna said Sarah. errr... my mind went... oh Gosh.
That was also her daughter's baptism day.


So tell me is this coincidence?

I think its too close for coincidence...

What do you think?

Aging Gracefully

Have you seen the latest pictures of Demi Moore? Of Nicole Kidman? of Kelly Preston? these people age very well don't they. Some look better in their 40s or late 30s much better than before!


Demi moore is 44... and she looks better now than before...

I wanna look like that when age. And be as graceful as ever :) hehee.

Natural Disaster or Wrath of God

First it was the Tsunami which we thought was one of the worse natural disasters of late. Then comes the Hurricane Kartina which devastated much of the gulf coast states. It was reported that the disaster struck area as bigger than the size of Great Britain.

Some say its the worse "Natural Disaster" to date. Could it be that it was more of God's wrath on human kind? Isn't it ironic that the country with the latest and expensive technology has been hit worse than the tsunami and that there were more ill prepared for this than the country hit by Tsunami? As it was quoted, even people in india/sri lanka did some sort of barricade to prevent the water from flooding in. But who are we to judge since we are not that first hand to experience it.

I feel it could be God's way of teaching the human kind to be more humble. Have you realized that over the years human race has become so arrogant that they think everything is in their own hands even to the extend of creation of the race? thru clonning ,etc.

I have never been to New Orleans :P it was one place I wanted to go but was unable to , during the time when I was in the US. Time was too short.. too many states to visit. If you will and have the time visit this web site...
http://www.lifesite.net/ldn/2005/sep/05090111.html

I read the herald today, its so sad to know that there is no longer religious tolerance in this country. The Herald is a weekly publication with regards to the catholic happenings around the world and local. today's herald tells of break-ins to church, theft and vandalism. Yeah this is in our very own country.

A church in Masai, Johor has been broken into, the tabernacle has been destroyed and the hosts thrown and scattered all over the floor. The altar was badly damaged. And another church st. theresa's has been broken into as well and vandalise and when report was made to the police, police has advice the church to play a private security guard around the church premises.

Think about it! Why does it have to come to this. Where is our tolerance for difference or religion. Gathered that its a church and not a mosque so everything is kept hush hush and things are swept under the carpet. Think of it, if it was otherwise what a public outrage it would have bcome and a big big big issue and probably appear at all the front pages of the local papers.

Whos in the wrong? Parents? Govt? all of us? human race?
Of our "don't give shit" attitude?

Maybe all these so-called natural disasters is a way to teach us a lesson. To wake us up from our arrogance.
Maybe its time, we stand together and pray not only for ourselves, our religion , our family but for all human race to go back to the basics of life. And realized that with all the knowledge we have, we are nothing if we cannot live in harmony, in tolerance and in a civilize matter.

Maybe we can all add this to our daily prayers everynite bfore we go to bed. Wouldn't you want to live in a world that is peaceful and filled with harmony?
don't wish lets at least start with ourselves with of course with God's grace.

Forgiving oneself

Is forgiving oneself a difficult task? I believe so. Sometimes we are more critical of ourselves and others.

I have been doing some soul searching. One question that I asked myself lately, was why do I feel sad and tears starts rolling down my face when I think of my late sis-in-law. Next week on the 8th of Sept 2005, will mark her one year of departure form us all.

I began to realize, could it be that i can't forgive myself that I am also hurting that she is now gone from my life? That I no longer have a chance to remedy the situation!?

She has never really been close to me. I believe I am feeling this way, becoz I never did have a sense of closure. I believe i didn't help her enough when she was alive and ill. Maybe during her times of need I was not there. And now when she's gone I feel guilty about it and unable to help her now. Would it had been better if I had actually said sorry to her or asked for forgiveness for the times I didn't see her cry for help?

Maybe its time I learn how to forgive myself?
Maybe its time I learn to love myself more?
Maybe its time I learn to open myself more to people's love?
Maybe its time, I ask God to forgive and Let Sarah knows that deep down inside we all miss her? Or could it be I can say that to her myself and she is able to hear me?
Its just a bunch of maybes. But it could be the remedy for me, no?

My Natural State

hmmm... so is being lazy my natural state.

My colleague made a comment lately. Well we were planning some exercise program rite.. but sheis those type who wants to go to the gym everyday in the week. And on top of that 2 times for yoga.

Me on the other hand plans only to go 3 times a week and yoga once a week. So she blatantly said, you're so lazy!

Yeah whatever , lets just say, I like to do things moderately. Not to get hurt... well at least I don't starve myself like her in her pursuit to be thin like a lidi. She is already so skinny.. and hunch alittle bit coz she so thin but yet everyday she talks about how she needs to lose weight.. siow or what!

people like that deserve to be placed and not allowed to leave the asylum :P

I want to lose weight too.. But my moto is NEVER EVER SUFFER FOR FASHION OR BEAUTY.

hehehe.. so whats my natural state? LAZY or Comfort.. hehehee

KEKEKEKE....

The Eve

The Eve of Independence Day is here. For the last couple of weeks, the media has been reporting alot on this. Reflecting back to the good old days. Getting the veterans who actually experienced the memorial moment to recount the experience.

Getting the young generation to share their views of what they hope the country is or will be. What they hope to see..

You start asking yourself questions. You have been living here long enough but has things really changed? I was lucky to spend 3 years in the US of A and I loved it there. No doubt being in the mid west there is such thing as racism but its very mild.

If you have read any of those articles in the papers, you would noticed that alot of people mentioned about Bangsa Malaysia. Have you ever asked yourself whether thats just merely 2 words everyone caught on or is it the reality here?

To me, I believe that what everyone hope it is. But it is not so, at all. How can you claim we are there, when you see so much distinction in how everything is divided? Everything is categorized? Its kinda sad.

One thing i hope for this 48th Independence day is that people will just not merely say these two words but make it reality. Recognize what the situation is right now and make a conscious effort to change or make a difference. Eliminate the need or desire to see difference as a bad thing but strive to make the difference invisible.

If one is to just preach that we are multi-cultural env and so proud of it. I can say that many countries are multi cultural these days... so what would make our country any different? The Tolerance?

Of course, I am just writing based on my feelings with no intention of insulting any party. I am writing to express how I feel being a citizen.. and my hope as a citizen of this place :)

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

I watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory today!!! Awesome... its a damn good one and I laughed all the way.

I enjoyed it to the max. I would definitely recommend it.

But as usual malaysian crowd dont' quite get some of the jokes... Dweebs....

But was good fun.

Go watch it if you can.

Finally.... but then.....

To perm or not to perm
To cut or not to cut
To color or not to color!?

That was the question that ran thru my mind for the last couple of weeks. Seriously I was trying to make a difficult decision while my fringe or banks as they would say it in the US was bugging the heck out of me coz it was just sticking into my eyes.

Then Today, I decided, its about time - its to do or die case. So I called the hair dresser. Yeah the one which i only pay RM13 for a hair cut. Asked her if there is alot of people there? She said nono good time to come. Asked her over the phone, what type of color do you have ah? She goes, LOTSSSSS come and choose.

Fine, i went there, I was looking for the shade of chestnut rite? In my hurry to find it, i actually couldn't find it. Then I found it.. WAAA WEE.. the color. I then told her... she went.. errr.. becoz the color of your hair is dark I would need to put a color lighter.. Dang it she put copper. And I have to say, I am not quite happy lah.... coz the top looks kinda reddish.... I not ang mo mah.........

Anyways.... next time will go with the convention shade.. Brown............probably a medium brown...

So now i got to live with it for awhile..... For RM65.. i guess it didn't really burn a whole in my pocket unlike my friend who paid RM300 for her color hehehee.
By the way RM65 inclusive of the trim ... :P

Progress....

Its interesting that just last week, I attended a talk on the environment in my office. The talk was basically conducted by CETDEM. Its a non-profit organization based here in the country.

It was interesting how he said eventho' we claim we have progressed but data and stats gathered basically showed that only 2 areas we have progressed in - poverty and the other is 'can't remember already'.Anyhow, transport and such hasn't progressed abit since the time we gain independence. I guess when he spoke about transport he was talking more in the context of public transportation.

As we all have experience, taking public transportation in this country is hillarious. Takes a huge amount of your time esp the waiting period. If you are one who hasn't had the oportunity to experience this, you must be the sort that is pampered like crap. The ones born with a silver spoon or one that is fortunte enough to have a car to drive around.

I travel by public transportation when i was in the local college doing my credit transfer program and when i came back from studying abroad, I travelled everywhere by public transportation. The biggest frustration comes from the waiting period and the uncertainty wehther the bus would come or not.. or wehther the train would break down ( the train or rather the commuter only came into existence after I graduated and came back.)

Always have to plan at least an hour buffer zone. Imagine huh? Bloodee waste of time huh.

I hope that govt will look into this area soon enough before more people leave the country and leave another brain drain - which in fact i think would never be healed.

Interestingly today, I heard in the training I am attending - an indonesian man said this...
I love my country but doesn't mean I love my govt but I still have to obey my govt. :)

Can we be like him looking at the beauty of the country independent of the govt? Takes a lot of conditioning?

I dont' know!

Just Like Heaven

Just Like Heaven is a book which is just read. Its written by a male author named Marc Levy. A frenchman.

I went to Kino one day after work last week and saw the book. But I didn't buy it then. As you know books are kinda expensive here in this country in comparison to other countries. So I had to think it over.

But I went home and just kept thinking about the book... So i decided to get it last tuesday.

Just like Heaven is a great read. Its funny, sad and very touching. I am surprised that this romance story written by a male is actually very enjoyable. The way the describes things and how he puts it into words. Thats awesome. I guess thats what makes a good writer.

I enjoy the book coz it describes the places so clearly that you feel you're in there yourself. Another thing is this book is based mostly around San Francisco - my fav place in the US of A.
Dreaming of falling in love and living in San Fran. Sounds crazy no? coz San Fran has a high population of gay :P All the good looking men will already be taken by men :(

By the way, this book has been made into a movie. I wonder tho' - it definitely must take a good script writer to transform all those beautiful phrases and words into movie.....

What to do, I am a sucker for romance :P
Which I am still yet to find one myself.....

Haze oh Haze

Haze oh Haze,
why don't you leave us be,
your presence is making me suffer
your presence will kill me eventually
from inability to breathe properly.

Haze is such a nuisance. I will go home this weekend.. to a place where the reading for the haze is at the 500+ level. Even with the current haze level in KL, my sensitive nose is already sufferring........

My throat feels horrible too....

Please Haze Leave us Be.

Weird Dream

Last Week I had the weirdest dream.

I dreamt myself being in a church. But funny thing is the pews were very close to the next pew and instead of the wood thing that you use to kneel down instead its like thos pedals you find on stationary bicycle?

thats not the weird part, I saw twins that looked exactly like my sis-in-law. I approached one of them and said.. ehhh you look like my sister in law and she actually said.. yeah sarah.

Whats the msg I wonder!? i haven't had visions about her since the 9th day mass we had for her.

As you know I lost my sis-in-law , sept 8th 2004. Funny she should appear in my dream. Wonder what the msg is....

and visions has been very rare these days with me. Esp with my state of low spirituality.

But I often think of her now and then.. esp when i look into the eyes of her children. We have never been close but I have tried to help her during her time of difficulty fighting the killer disease. For her 2 killer diseases.

I find it hard to talk about her.. It just bring tears to my eyes each time. I wonder if thats normal?

Harry Porter and the Half Blood Prince

I have Finally finished reading that book. This book took me longer than the other Harry Porter books. Why? Probably coz there were too many filler chapters.

Anyways.. the story is so-so. Since there is a major character chopped off in this chap, i wonder how the next book is going to be.

Anyhow I will still buy the next book tho, its gonna be the last one.

Just bought a book yesterday from kino. Hopefully its good.. :)

If the opportunity arises

These couple of weeks, I have been thinking lot. Well yeah I know this is my normal form anyways rite.. some of you might think :P

Seriously tho, if the opportunity ever arises for to go back to university to study. I would definitely go into the field of psychology. Why? That was my initial interest anyways but due to some reason i couldn't pursue it. Its a long story, and I think its high time for me to look forward and not keep hanging on and blaming that situation.

Why Psychology. well... after giving it alot of thought. I felt that its what I am interested in and futhermore, going into that field would give me a better footing if I decide to join those international organization. If i opt not to do that but instead go back into the corporate world, I am able to do that too.... so its huge new world for me.

But my unfortunate monetary state doesn't permit me to pursue this. As I do not and wouldn't have that kind of money to finance myself anytime soon. Age is also catching up.

Hence, I am looking for maybe some study grant, stipen or some sort to finance this. But alas, I do not know that many people out there.

Hence my readers, if you know of any leads.... do let me know.... drop me a line.. Give a hand to this poor soul here.....

I have never been more certain that this field is what I am interested in.

:)